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Food for Thought
Thursday, September 7, 2006, 09:19 AM [Humor]
Know your hymns
Wednesday, July 26, 2006, 11:53 AM [Humor]
Know Your Hymns Dentist's Hymn...................……. Crown Him with Many Crowns
Weatherman's Hymn................. There Shall Be Showers of Blessings
Contractor's Hymn...................…The Church's One Foundation
The Tailor's Hymn.......................Holy, Holy, Holy
The Golfer's Hymn......................There's a Green Hill Far Away
The Politician's Hymn................. Standing on the Promises
Optometrist's Hymn....................Open My Eyes That I Might See
The IRS Agent's Hymn............... I Surrender All
The Gossip's Hymn.....................Pass It On
The Electrician's Hymn............…Send The Light
The Shopper's Hymn...............…Sweet Bye and Bye
The Realtor's Hymn.................... I've Got a Mansion, Just OverThe Hilltop
The Massage Therapists Hymn....He Touched Me
The Doctor's Hymn......................The Great Physician
AND for those who speed on the highway here's a few more hymns: 45mph................... God Will Take Care of You
65mph................... Nearer My God To Thee
85mph................... This World Is Not My Home
95mph................... Lord, I'm Coming Home
100mph.............….Precious Memories
Give me a sense of humor, Lord, Give me the grace to see a joke, To get some humor out of life, And pass it on to other folk.
Stress
Thursday, July 20, 2006, 07:15 AM [Humor]
Subject: CHRISTIAN WAYS TO REDUCE STRESSTO REDUCE STRESS
An Angel says, "Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice."
1. Pray
2. Go to bed on time.
3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.
4. Say No to projects that won't fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.
5. Delegate tasks to capable others.
6. Simplify and unclutter your life.
7. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)
8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.
9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don't lump the hard things all together.
10. Take one day at a time.
11. Separate worries from concerns. If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety . If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it.
12. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases.
13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.
14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.
15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.
16. Carry a Bible with you to read while waiting in line.
17. Get enough rest.
18. Eat right.
19. Get organized so everything has its place.
20. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life.
21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.
22. Every day, find time to be alone.
23. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don't wait until it's time to go to bed to try and pray.
24. Make friends with Godly people.
25. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand.
26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good "Thank you Jesus."
27. Laugh.
28. Laugh some more!
29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all.
30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).
31. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most).
32. Sit on your ego.
33. Talk less; listen more.
34. Slow down.
35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.
36 . Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before. GOD HAS A WAY OF TURNING THINGS AROUND FOR YOU. "If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31)
My instructions were to send this to four people that I wanted God to bless and I picked you. I decided to send it to more than four, because I didn't want to limit blessings. SEND IT FORWARD PLEASE, not backward!
stress
Smiles from the Bible
Thursday, July 20, 2006, 07:08 AM [Humor]
Smiles from the Bible...
Q. What kind of man was
Boaz before he married Ruth?
A.
Ruthless.
Q. What do they call pastors in
Germany?
A. German Shepherds.
Q. Who was the greatest financier in the
Bible?
A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was
in liquidation.
Q. Who was the greatest
female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter. She
went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.
Q. What kind
of motor
vehicles are in the
Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a
Fury. David's Triumph was heard throughout
the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were
all in one Accord.
Q. Who was the greatest
comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson He brought the
house down.
Q What excuse did Adam
give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.
Q. Which servant of
God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses. He broke all 10
commandments at once.
Q. Which area of
Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around Jordan. The
banks were always overflowing.
Q. Who is the greatest
babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David. He rocked Goliath to
a very deep sleep.
Q. Which Bible character
had no parents ?
A. Joshua, son of
Nun.
Q. Why didn't they play
cards on the Ark?
A. Because Noah was standing
on the deck. (Groan...)
PS...
Did you
know it's a sin for a woman to make coffee?
Yup, it's in the
Bible. It says . . . "He-brews"
KEEP SMILING!!!!
GOD LOVES YOU BUNCHES AND BUNCHES!!!!
Friends
are God's way of taking care of
us.